• *Hears noises at night*: Well this is it, this is the end for me. I had a good life.
• *Gets shampoo in my eyes*: I guess I'm blind now. How am I going to go on? Holy shit!
• *Heart is beating fast*: I think I am having a heart attack. Is this what cardiac arrest is?
• *A cop walks by*: Here I go, about to get arrested. I probably murdered someone. I'm sure they know about when I smoked that one time.
• *Taking a test*: Don't take your eyes off of this paper you will get caught cheating and get kicked out of school.
• *Gets a sunburn*: Skin cancer.

• me: what how can this person reply to a reply?
• how did they get that theme? it wasn't on the list of themes. they must be a wizard.
• wow that person just got their 50th follower they are so tumblr famous wow
• wow that was weird that fanfic had a sex scene i hope i never see that again
• oh my god i messaged this person with how much i love their blog and they replied with a thank you and a smiley face, look at me making friends on tumblr already

Nicki Minaj- Sex in the Lounge

Imma have you screaming

Girl, they gonna hear the sound

(Source: lisasaa)

my standards are unrealistically high for how unattractive i am

(Source: aeun)